In the beginning

I think there has to be some background of how I grew up, to understand how I have come to where I am now. I grew up as the oldest daughter of my parents.  My dad has another daughter who lived 7+ hours away so I didn’t have the big sister experience that may have been helpful. I have older parents who for the most part are not overly social, especially my mom. So I didn’t have the experience of the mom friends either. My sister and I were the only faces of color in our neighborhood, in our school and in our church. I always felt awkward and like I didn’t fit in.  On top of that, my mother was very conscientious of appearances, even to the detriment of how it made her daughter feel. I say all this not to say I wasn’t loved. Or that I didn’t have awesome family, friends or experiences. But at the same time, the groundwork was laid for a ton of insecurities that have never been repaired.